May 27th is a holiday of sorts, for me. Not a firecracker, cook out type of holiday, but a silent and heavy one.

Silent because it is a holiday only I celebrate and a heavy one because I was close to never being able to celebrate it at all.

Every year on July 11th, my husband and I celebrate anniversary of our first date. Exactly 45 days before that perfect, sunny day at the boardwalk - I was lying in bed, pleading with the universe for my person. 45 days before that first date was May 27th.

Back in the early 2010s, ‘How I Met Your Mother’ had the country in a chokehold. Everyone loved it. In March 2013, the show aired season 8, episode 20 titled ‘The Time Travelers’. In this episode the main character Ted Mosby time travels backwards decades. He is able to sit in his favorite spot at his favorite bar. He contemplates what he should do. He muses on visiting his friends at those points in their lives, but ultimately does not.

Instead he runs out of the bar and darts up to the apartment of his future wife, delivering a speech to a woman who is standing in her doorway off camera. (We still don’t know who the mother is at this time.)

Ted then gives a speech to the love of his life, who has no idea who he is yet. His monologue, tearful and full of longing, goes as follows:

“Hi. I’m Ted Mosby. In exactly 45 days from now, you and I are going to meet. And we’re going to fall in love. And we’re going to get married and we’re going to have two kids. And we’re going to love them and each other so much. All that is 45 days away. But I’m here now, I guess, because I want those extra 45 days. With you. I want each one of them. And if I can’t have them, I’ll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up and punches me in the face. Because I love you. I’m always going to love you. Until the end of my days. And beyond.”

Since the first time I saw this episode, this speech reached into my chest and twisted my insides.

When this episode aired in March 2013 I was living with my abusive boyfriend in NYC. I was 23 and was too embarrassed to reach out for help. I was smarter than this, how did I let myself get into such a horrific situation? For the following year I would look up Ted’s speech on YouTube and watch it over, and over before bed.

I longed for someone who was kind and genuine. I wished and day dreamed about my person being out there, somewhere, in the Universe. Maybe not far away at all, showing up to my apartment door and giving me this same speech.

“Before your boyfriend shows up and punches me in the face” especially felt like something my ex would have done in that situation.

The countless nights of crying to this video, curled up on my side of the bed, pleading the Universe to help me - it worked. On May 27th, 2014 I was exactly 45 days away from meeting the love of my life - my now husband, Steve.

And so every year when I see May 27th pop up on the calendar, I say a silent thank you to the fates for making my wish come true. Steve did not come and rescue me from my abusive relationship - I did that all on my own. I gave up my dream of living in NYC and moved back in with my parents in NJ. Around the same time Steve was watching ‘How I Met Your Mother’ for the first time after he called off his wedding to someone else the month before.

If he hadn’t called off the wedding, if I hadn’t left NYC, if we both weren’t on Tinder looking for something casual - we never would have matched on July 4th. We wouldn’t have spent 10 days talking on the phone until 4am. We wouldn’t have met for our first date on July 11th, 2014.

Thus, I can only be full of gratitude every May 27th - 45 days before I met my person.